So it's now September. (Wow, have I neglected this blog.) The thoughts haven't stopped rolling, but over the summer they felt so self-indulgent that I felt dirty even posting them. The thoughts weren't "dirty" necessarily... (Well...) but it just felt a tad shameless even for this veteran blogger. (read: pitiful) I'll hit the highlights:
June. Louisville.
Graded over 1300 AP essays and had the time of my life. Met the greatest roommate ever, the moodiest bar patron ever, and went to my first drag show.
June. New Mexico.
Ho hum.
The rest of June was spent waiting by the phone. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. And lots of rain. And lots of time pumping water out of my basement.
June. Here.
Got a new job. Yay! Kiss my feet.
June. Arkansas.
Splendid drive. Celebrated my new job alone, which was mega lame. Can still see the sun glistening on the waters of Lake Eufala after a rainstorm, though.
July. Oklahoma.
Had an (almost) sublime weekend. Wish I could put this in a jar and pull it out on nights like this. Open spaces, road trips, and that feeling of freedom that comes when in a place where people are down to earth.
July. Teaching.
This turned into a much bigger ordeal than I had planned. Still waiting by the phone. Still dumb.
August. The Ball is Rolling.
So here it is in September, and the weeks just roll by. I have my "big job" now, but somehow I thought it would feel different. It really doesn't, but I enjoy it nonetheless.
The Divine Miss Z found some old cards last night. Of course, there were a couple in there from her father* (Father is used for lack of a more accurate description.) For some reason, seeing his handwriting reminded me of all of the times he used to "hide" me from people. I couldn't answer his phone. If I was in the car or in the room when he was on the phone, he acted as if I didn't even exist. He walked several steps ahead of me when we were out in public. Things like that. For some reason, it all came rushing back. I have felt shades of this in the past months, but this came over me in a wave.
It's tough to escape the past sometimes. That's why I'm moving forward. A new season and a new year in teacher speak.
Good thing I'm back from the dead.
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2 comments:
Thanks for coming back...whether reincarnation or resurrection it's not yet clear. But it doesn't really matter. When I read your words, it's almost like hearing your voice, which always revives me. Doug
you always know what to say.
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