Thoughts on country music

I have always had a love/hate relationship with country music. Since radio reception in my office has narrowed my choices to country or country, I have been listening to more Carrie Underwood than usual. While the good 'ol bar standards can't be beat, the honky-tonkin' sound of old Hank is always good for a party, and alt-country has paved the way for a whole new kind of sound, most country is manipulative, and well, nauseating. Need examples? We need to look no further than the current Billboard Country chart.

Kenny Chesney- "Don't Blink"
While I find the general premise of the song to be endearing, the lyrics are simply past cheesy. Couple this with Kenny's "beat up" hat and "everyman" persona, and you've got a real piece of emotional manipulation going on here. For example:

"Don't blink. Just like that, you're six years old and you take a nap. And you wake up and you're 25 and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife..."

Methinks Kenny bought some stock in Kleenex before releasing this "tearjerker."

"Country Man" by Luke Bryan
There's so much material here that I don't even know where to begin.

"Hey I'm a country man- a city boy can't do the things I can. I can hotwire your tractor and plow up your land. Hey baby I'm a country man..."

But wait! There's more!

"Hey I'm a country man huntin' me a good ole' country girlfriend. Why don't you come and join me in my new deer stand?"

Wait a sec. I'm strangely turned on by this song. Anyway, this is nothing more than justification for "country men" everywhere to rally around their coolers and trucks, yell "Hell YEAH" and continue to think that women think the killer combo of deer corn and camo to be sexy.

Next up is the type of song that crusaders of country music live for- Chuck Wicks' "Stealing Cinderella." It's sappy, it's got dads and daughters, and it's got all of the makings of a song you'll be hearing at weddings for the next decade. Sigh.

"I came to see her daddy for sit down man to man. It wasn't any secret I'd be asking for her hand. I guess that's why he left me waiting in the living room by myself ...with at least a dozen pictures of her sitting on a shelf..."

Now I'm going to admit something here- I did get a little misty eyed the first time I heard this song. However, when the next song came on the radio (I think it was "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off.") I felt completely and utterly manipulated. I, too, had been duped by country music.

Please, Nashville. Spare us from this schlock.